Funny One-Liners for Runners
- I go running in the morning, before my brain figures out what I am doing.
- I'm in shape... "Round" is a shape, isn't it?
- The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, it is too far to walk back.
- My first job was in a running shoe company; I tried but I just didn't fit in. So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
- If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
- If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
- If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
- If the refrigerator and television weren't so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any walking training at all.
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
- I have to run early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I am really doing.
- The advantage of running every day is that you die healthier.
- It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at 5,000 dollars per month.
- I joined a running club last year to lose some weight, spent about $100. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example: if the advertisement strongly suggests that particular brand of running shoes enabling athletes to perform amazing feats, the advertiser wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability.
- If you are going to try cross country, start with a small country.
- I don't jog - it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
- You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is.
- If rabbit's feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
- "The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again" - Erma Bombeck
- I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
- You know you are stressed if you can achieve "runners high" by sitting up.
- In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels".
Run The Planet thanks Jean-Louis Laurent and Rick for their precious cooperation.