You Might Be a Trail Runner If...

What is the difference between a trail runner and a road runner? Here is an easy to administer self-test to help you answer this question for yourself. Simply add the points indicated in brackets for each "yes" answer, and score yourself at the end.

• Which would you rather run? The "Boston Marathon" in under three hours (0); the "Pike's Peak Marathon" in under five hours (+1); the "Hardrock 100", who cares about the time? (+2)
• Do you regularly encounter animals which could maim or kill you such as elk, bear, cougar, or rattlesnake (dogs don't count; cows count, but only if you've actually been threatened by one)? (+1)
• Which do you fear more on runs? Getting shot by hunters (+1), getting shot up by thugs (-1)?
• Do you regularly return from runs bleeding? (+1)
• Are all your running socks brown? (+1)
• Have you ever gotten dirt in your mouth or up your nose from a fall? (+1)
• Have you ever taken a detour in a race to top a peak or just to "see what's over the next ridge"? (+1)
• Do you time your workouts? (-1) Do you record the times? (-1)
• Do you keep a written PR list? (-1) Is it publicly accessible i.e., pinned to the wall of your office, or posted on an Internet webpage? (-1)
• Have you ever missed a meeting at work because that loop was "a little longer than you thought"? (+1)
• Have you ever had to pull cactus thorns out of your shoe, or a yucca spine out of your shin? (+1)
• On most of your runs, do you often have to decide whether to cross against the red light? (-1)
• How long does it take a fresh pair of shoes to lose that "new" look? Two weeks (-1), one week (0), three days (+1), one day (+2)
• Have you ever torn your shirt, shorts, or flesh on a barbed-wire fence? (+1)
• Do you regularly carry a street map on runs? (+1) A topo map? (+2)
• Do you regularly wear gaiters or dump large amounts of dirt from your shoes? (+1)
• Have you ever gotten lost enough on a run that someone had to come looking for you? (+1)
• Are there times you can't go on your favorite run because of mud or high water? (+1)
• Can you pee anywhere you want on runs? (+1)

Scores
Less than 7 points: A true road runner; may your PRs forever quicken.
From 7 to 12 points: A trail runner in spirit; now get the hell out of the city and move to where there are some trails!
More than 12 points: A hardcore trail runner; we can almost see your bloody knees from here!

See also information about trail-running in your area.

Credits

Run The Planet thanks Blake P. Wood for the permission to reprint his "Trail Runner's Test" message, originally sent on Saturday January 28, 1995 to the ultra(at)dartcms1.dartmouth.edu mailing list.