Point blank, some men are just plain lazy. However, laziness is a perception that can be created in your own mind about the one you love. Has this happened to you? Read on to understand how to recognize if it is you or if it is truly laziness.
Life happens and, as husband and wife, you travel through ups and downs and not necessarily at the same exact time. Of course overall you are traveling together on a path of marriage, but on a personal level things maybe different. When and why does this happen? Well, it usually occurs when one of the spouses takes up an exercise routine. Things don't magically go south because one of the partners does not start exercising right away, it occurs gradually over a period of about 6-7 months.
Exercise directly affects your mental state and physical demeanor. This postive effect will start to change the way you look and how you perceive people. Unintentionally, it may make it seem like your spouse is lazy or uninterested in exercise. Even though, at one time, you shared the exact same interests and activities prior to beginning your exercise routine. Here is the point where conflict begins... internal and external. Communication between you and your partner needs to occur and usually out of that conversation expectations are set for the next 2-3 months. Based on experience it may be a year before your partner is ready to take action.
Here is an example of what typically occurs: the person that exercises starts to make new friends and expand their network of friends with similar activities and interests. It is fun and exciting to meet new people and begin to expand the social network. In contrast the non exercising partner keeps the same schedule or routine. This schedule is usually dictated by making a living. Depending on the job, stress and number of hours, sometimes the last thing that the non-exercising partner wants is to exercise. Insert here: the point about different mental states mentioned above.
Here are four steps you can take to help fix this situation. The first and foremost thing is to recognize it. The hardest part is to recognize a situation that you live everyday; it is very difficult sometimes to take a step out to recognize an opportunity within. Number two, talk about it with your partner more than one time. There are a number of ways to tell your spouse that you are concerned for their health and want them to start incorporating a more active lifestyle. The third thing is to take action. Agree on how and what would be an acceptable first step and then do it. Last, but not least, learn to adjust. If something is not working, try something else until you are able to get your spouse on the same mental wave length about health and exercise.
Run The Planet thanks Marathon Family (www.marathonfamily.com) for the permission to reprint the article "Four steps that can help stop laziness from sucking the fun out of your relationship" by Scott Winter. For more information about how to support your runner, in all phases from getting started to training to race day and back again, please visit www.marathonfamily.com. Questions, comments and suggestions can be mailed to info(at)marathonfamily.com. Illustration copyright © by Run The Planet.