Running Diets

I'm a new runner who began running only a few weeks ago with the hope of losing a few pounds. I've read a lot about some of the new "fad" diets that people are following, and was wondering which of these you'd consider to be the best. - Losing Weight and Feeling Great

Dear Losing Weight,

There are really several ways to lose weight, the most extreme of which involves elective surgery of excess limbs, which we here at Run The Planet urge you never to consider. We cannot stress this strongly enough: do not rely on any limb reduction procedure as a means for losing weight quickly! This is especially detrimental to runners who depend upon their extremities for dexterity, coordination and locomotion.

Painful Viral Infections (PVI) are another method by which huge quantities of body fat (and muscle tissue) can be rejected from one's human container vessel, but again, we beseech you to follow one of the more traditional means of weight reduction.

A healthy diet is one such method used to sustain the life force. While it's true that a cessation of all caloric consumption will quickly lead to a decrease in body weight, it's essential to understand that "You are what you eat", and if you choose not to then you are just that: "nothing".

New "Oxygen and Nitrogen Gas Diets" are becoming increasingly popular in the west coast of the United States. Restaurants offering "scent based" meals within sealed balloons, which patrons are meant to "smell slowly" are intended to replace the more natural "real food" sourced dinners that so many human beings have traditionally sat down to. We here at Run the Planet feel very strongly that you need to eat something - anything? - with some frequency, if you're going to perform well in running and continue the daily act of breathing.

Still, some people feel that exercise and a change in daily regimen is preferable over a healthy diet. To meet this demand, some entrepreneurs are encouraging unhealthy and unsafe behavior models with a goal towards instant weight reduction.

A recent story in the "Los Angeles Sunday Times" details a new "fad" health resort, which this responsible writer hesitates to describe with any detail.

(The author now takes an appropriate extended pause)

Now that my hesitation has passed, I will warn you that the new Santa Monica "Chum Pool Shark Bait Spa" with it's guarantee that you'll lose "50 pounds in one half hour or your money back" is a felony waiting to happen. The experts all agree that exercise is important, but that a healthy, well balance diet is essential for successful weight loss and maintenance.

And while the newly published "Bacon Fat Diet", which encourages its followers to consume at least four liters of the semi-congealed lard a day, is indeed, technically, a "diet" of sorts, it is probably not a healthy alternative to a more vegetarian fare.

An ancient diet which small communities in Arizona adhere to named simply "The Eat Lots of Little Rocks Diet" lacks both imagination and nutrition, two qualities that should not be ignore when searching for a good dietary plan.

And then there's the story of Wilson LaStanch of Montreal, Canada, who operated his "Mauvais Vieux Poisson" weight loss clinic for exactly 36 hours last winter in his attempt to lure the health conscious populous of the Great White North to something that poorly translates to "Bad Old Fish". Unfortunately, Monsieur LaStanch had a literal understanding of the concept of "Truth in Advertising", and succumbed to the ill effects of E.coli poisoning, a sad but essential ingredient in his new fad culinary diet.

The Zone, Pritikin, Atkins, Suzanne Somers Tummy Tucker diets, these are all great plans, but the best one may be the "See Food Diet". As a runner, you earn the right to eat just about anything as long as it can be categorized as "healthy" and "good for you".

Keep on running a minimum of 20 minutes at least three times a week and eat a balanced meal primarily composed of low fat protein and low glycemic carbohydrates three to five times a day keeping your daily caloric intake above 1,200 calories and you'll start to lose weight. Some "Fad Diets" may work, but if they do it's a result of the simple principles listed here, and not due to some incredible revelation that a proponent of the newly established clinic or Spa may encourage the population to follow.

And if you ever find yourself in downtown Montreal, please don't order any fish at a place called "Mauvais Vieux Poisson". Just don't even think about it.

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